A Troubled Life
by MiR23
Summary: Zina must find a true way to freedom. The only way to do so is to unlock the past locked away in her heart.


"ROLE-PLAY TIMMMEEEEEEEEE!"

A groan I had been trying to suppress escaped my lips before I could stop it. My bones had an aching filled with such exhaustion, I swear, it could rival the dead. I gritted my teeth as I tries to hide under the mountain of pillows and blankets I'd chosen as the walls of my fortress. '_I should really think about getting a better decorator', I thought._

"Honey, again, really? Aren't you tired? I know we're newlyweds and all, but... You can't be serious. Usually, I'M the insatiable one." There was hardly any substance to my voice. My throat was literally raw from hours of... Err, exercise. When there was no answer, I considered repeating my question.

Silence. I attempted to peek through a crack in my fort, but it was useless. Long ago— many, MANY hours ago, the lights had been extinguished. And the journey had begun.

I pulled the thick material tighter around me. "Ikori? Babes, can't we just start again tomorrow? At this rate, you're going to be the death of me-."

Whoosh! In less than a second, my body was yanked from beneath my haven and a dense weight is upon me. The room was instantly illuminated with an eerie red glow. What were once marvelous twin metropolises of hazel, blue, and green orbs were now blazing furnaces of crimson, the color of rage... Furnaces that I couldn't tear my eyes away from even if I wanted to. I could gaze into his eyes forever… Even if the anger radiating from his irises could give Satan a heat stroke.

"How dare you!?" Ikori grounded out through his teeth. "This whole time, you have been itching to spend some 'alone time'. For three days straight, I have tried to get all of my work done just so everything could be perfect. However, because you were just SO impatient, I worked like a madman just to be with you. Just so you wouldn't feel neglected. And now, just because you're a wee bit tired, you want to call it quits. How DARE you!"

Stuttering from this TOTALLY unfair slaughtering of my feelings, I was completely stunned into silence. I guess I kinda saw his point, though. I had never seen him like this before.

It scared me. But only a little.

'_Hmm… I wonder.'_

'_ACT 1; ONWARDS!'_

"Daddy, I'm sorry."

It didn't seem to sink in at that point. He kept right on going. "And another thing, we were ALSO supposed to—wait, what?" He paused, his expression blank.

'_Hook…'_

"I said I'm sorry for bothering you so late, Daddy. But, I… I just wanted to… to…"

'_Line…'_

His eyes immediately returned to original hues. "Zina…? Wait, why did you just call me Dad-" Finally, realization dawned on him. He jumped and sat up on the far side of the bed.

"Yes, Daddy? What's the matter? And why did you tackle me just now?" I asked frankly.

'_Sinker!'_

For once, it looked as if I'd ruffled his feathers. I had never seen him look any redder, in fact. He couldn't really look me straight in the eye. I had finally gotten through his poker face. "Ah, I'm sorry sweetheart." He looked at me, but then glanced away again. "Umm. Daddy's just been a little distracted… Work… Yeah, work and uh…" He cleared his throat. "Grown-up things."

I tilted my head slightly sideways, skeptical; but then shrugged. "Hmmm… Okay!" I waited until he seemed to relax at my answer. As soon as he looked at me, I smirked.

"So! What KIND of grown-up things?" I asked with one eyebrow raised. As I scooted closer to him, I crossed my legs.

He fidgeted a bit. "Errr...! N-nothing important. Just... paperwork." He nodded his head vigorously.

I made a face. "Eww. That's gross. We are supposed to be having fun, since its Christmas Break and all. We must, must, MUST have fun during X-mas Break. IT''S THE LAW."

Ikori chuckled. I love his laugh. It's like a low rolling thunder… The vibration from his deep voice made me shiver. However, I managed to hide it in time. _**'**__Steady, grasshopper!__'_I think with a mandarin Chinese accent. '_You must tread softly, for whom knows what will happen if you ruin your disguise… Your husband IS a Wild Card at times…' _I smirked a little on the inside._** '**__But then again, so am I.' _

Ikori finally looked at me, laughter still in his eyes. "Sweetheart, I know, I know. It's just been kinda hectic lately. But I promise I'll do better." His eyes twinkled. "In fact, I've got a surprise for you in the morning. But that's all I'll say for now.

"Aww, shucks, Daddy," I pout. My mind begins racing with all the possibilities. "Maybe Mommy will wanna go and we could all… be together… again."My chest beganto constrict. For a split second, it seemed as if all oxygen in the room had evaporated. _**'**__I can't let him see me like this. I can't let him see me upset!' _I quickly put my mask on; the persona I wear to shield my emotions from my father. He doesn't need to see my pain. I love my daddy with all my heart. _'I'll never hurt him. Not like her…!'_

"ZINA!" Daddy shook me so frantically, I had been thinking so hard that I'd forgotten I wasn't breathing. I blinked, and just stared at him. My body was acting as if it had never had a tantrum in the first place. I racked my brain to remember what we were talking about. My mind drew a complete blank. So, I tried thinking of my purpose for coming into my father's room so late in the first place... _'Oh… yea. THAT.' _

"Zina? Are you okay? What's the matter? Are you hurt? Are you dizzy, nauseous, sick? Is it too warm, not cool enough?!" He started looking around, panicking. "Can I get you anything-?"

"Daddy!" I exclaimed. "It's all right. I just… I came in here tonight to ask you something-"

He put his hands on my shoulders. "What in the world does that have to do with what just happened to you? You were in so much pain… Whatever the subject, I'm sure it's nowhere near as important as-"

My temper flared. "Dad, please just listen to me! It is important. It really is, but I need you to just… listen. Please."

He sat back on his heels, waiting. "Fine."

"I… wanna know if…" I stopped short, hesitant.

But there was no turning back. He shook his head. "Now, now, Zina. You've started this, so finish."

I shut my eyes, covered my face with my hands, and took a deep breath. "I…" And exhaled. "I… I WANNA KNOW IF I MAKE YOU HAPPY!"

Silence. Just before I can peek through my fingers, I feel his hand on my cheek. I froze.

"Sweetheart, you do. You should know that by now. You're my daughter. That's all you do: make me happy."

Eyes wide, I asked "Really, you mean it?!"

Daddy smiled. "Of course I do! You're my very heart and soul."

I laughed. "YAY! I'm so happy." But the thrill dissipated pretty fast. I sobered up. "But, it's not the same. You love me differently than her. It's not the same. Um… I heard you on the phone this morning. When you were talking to… Well, I don't know who, but... You told them about Mommy, and how she didn't make you happy anymore."

He looked away. "I didn't mean for you to hear that. It's just... an adult thing. Don't worry about that." He shook his head, and then looked at me. "It's nothing, really."

Now I shook my head. "I don't believe you. You said she didn't even kiss you anymore."

"..." He looked down at his feet.

_'Take a shot in the dark, dammit!'_

"...Can I?"

"...Hmm? Oh, um. What did you say, Zina?"

I looked at him, and then glanced away. "I said... 'Can I kiss you?'"

His eyes did something I had never seen them do before. For a split second, maybe less, Daddy's eyes flashed. An icy blue; the color of condemnation.

He blinked. Hard. "Ahem. Uh." He shook his head vigorously. As if he were fighting off some demonic thought. "This can't be happening... That only happens when I'm..." He trailed off.

No response. I repeat my question. He catches it this time. "Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, Zina. Sure, I will."

I leaped at the opportunity, leaning my head in close. _'On second thought...' _I laid down on my side, right next to his ankle. He looked at me with a puzzled expression for a moment, and then shrugs. He bounces back off his heels and turns toward my new position. His hand supports his head as he lies on his side; his left leg cocked up.

The very essence of male.

I close my eyes, hardly containing myself. "I'm ready!"

*Boop!*

He leans back. "There! Are you happy now? Honestly, I don't see what the fuss was about…" He trailed off.

For a moment, I was about to ask about the pause, but then I realized I was crying. Rather loudly, actually. _'Aw, crap!'_

My hands go immediately to my face. "Oh, I… I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… No, it's fine. Really. I just expected…"

Strong arms embraced me, and held me close. "Sweetie, what is it? You know you can ask me for anything, and that I'll try to my greatest advantage to get the best result. So, what is it?"

I took a deep breath to quell the pain within my chest. "I wanted a… a real kiss." I lift my head towards his face. "Like with Mommy."

I could feel the tension in his embrace. I could also tell that he thought long and hard on his response. And that's because it felt like an eternity had passed before he spoke. "Zina... I don't think that's... Well, what I'm saying is-"

I pushed my lips to his in a quick jolt of energy before I lost my bravado. As soon as they got there, I hit a landslide. _'Just what the heck am I supposed to do now?!'_ I lay there, racking my brain for answers. I hadn't thought this far ahead.

Just then, something wonderful happened.

He moved his lips, ever so softly. The movement was so gentle, that if I had been breathing, I wouldn't have even noticed it.

Daddy had kissed me. But that wasn't the end of it.

He goaded me, kissing me in such a way, that it made me kiss him back. We kept at it for quite some time. I had finally gotten what I wanted. But, oddly, it wasn't enough.

I wanted more.

Just as I was about to say this, Daddy pulled back a bit. "That's… enough. You got want you wanted. Zina, I don't know if-"

"Daddy, there's one other thing. Something I want more than anything in the world. Remember that phone call with… umm, whoever? Well, I want to make you happy." Bewilderment and confusion shown in his eyes. "I mean… I MEANT like Mommy. How Mommy makes you happy. You also said that it's been hard for you to have a 'decent night'. What did you mean? Did you mean sex?" Just the thought of it gave me goose bumps. However, because this subject gave me rather aggressive butterflies in my stomach, I continued to babble on. "'Cuz I wanna have sex with you. Just like Mommy. You don't need her! WE don't need her! We have each of other! Please, Daddy!" Fresh new tears sprang to my eyes. I dug my face into his chest, gripped his T-shirt collar tightly. "Please!"

Nothing happened. No 'yes's'. No 'I cant's'. No comfort. No castigation. No response at all. I pull back a bit, taking a chance I never thought I could take. I stare at his eyelids, a glow barely decipherable coming from beneath them. Green, maybe? A battle was raging within his mind; the contortion in his face was proof of his inner conflict.

I prayed silently that he lost that battle.

But seeing as the gods might be a little busy, I decide to take matters into my own hands. I press my body flush against his: from chest to knee. I make immediate contact with a large bulge, twice the size of my fists if they had been folded together. My curiosity peaked; I raise my knee slightly and lower one of my hands down to the massive protrusion. I rub it from above with my hand, and nudge it from below with my knee…

Daddy's eyes flew open, and once again the room was engulfed blue fire. A low growl emitted from deep within his chest, shaking the bed, my thoughts, my heart…

The moisture between my legs was ridiculous.

He grabbed my shoulders, so hard it almost hurt. He leered into my eyes. The glare was so strong, I was almost tempted to look away. Looking into his eyes always made me feel as if I was floating in the ocean of a remote, tropical island. Surrounded by nothing but his love for me. As if the sun was always with me, protecting me. But now, I felt as if I was being electrocuted. A delicious feeling went through my body, focusing in my core.

The second he opened his mouth I instantly brought my thoughts back to this moment. Our moment. "Are you sure you want this?" Oh, God, his voice was impossibly low. He lifted his hand to my cheek, caressed it. I sigh, closing my eyes. Again, when I hear him intake, I open my eyes. I want to remember everything. "Once this happens, there's no turning back. You'll no longer see me as just your father. Do you want to risk that?"

I stared at him, thinking, making sure there were no loose ends in this. "I know what I want. I love you. I'll always love you as a father. Regardless of whatever else I may begin feeling for you. You will always be my father." To lighten the mood, I add: "Besides, hasn't that already happened? I love you in a way that I know I shouldn't. But, I still do. And nothing's gonna change that."

He shakes his head. "That doesn't mean you can't turn back now-"

The steel-grip hold I have on his manhood cuts him off mid-sentence. He hisses and his eyes close. His breathing hitches to a quick pace. I wait for him to settle down, sure that if I pressure him too much; I'll set him off in the wrong direction. Seconds tick by…

"Daddy?" He looks at me. My eyes are closed, but I can feel his gaze. Despite the control he's reined in, his eyes are brighter than ever.

"Yes, baby girl?" His grip eases up a little.

I stall for time, running the scenario over and over again in my mind. "Daddy?"

Concern filled his eyes. He lifted my chin with his hand. "Zina, what is it?"

In a flash, my hands were inside his boxers and stroking his arousal. He tried to jerk his hips away, but my grip was uncompromising. His eyes were shut tight. I said his name again, ready. "Daddy." He pried his eyes open and looked at me. I took a final deep breath. "Daddy, make love to me."

In one swift movement, he was inside of me. Daddy moaned really loudly. The pain I felt was… well, let's not dwell on that. After about a minute ticked by, I realized he wasn't moving. In fact, he wasn't moving at all. I look up into his face, he's grimacing. I gasped "Daddy? Daddy, are you okay? Are you hurt? I didn't know that you'd get hurt—"

"Shhh. I'm all right. I'm not in any pain. It's just that… Ahhhh… you feel so good… so right." He shakes his head. "But enough about me, are you all right? It doesn't still hurt, does it?" I shake my head. He smiles, but only slightly. "You're a terrible liar, y'know that? You've always been. So precious… My little angel… Babygirl, the pain is going to stop soon, I promise you. But first, I have to go in all the way, okay?"

My mind goes blank, as does my face. _'All the way…?'_ I glance down. _'…?! He's not even halfway in yet!' _I began to panic. _'I have to go through more of that pain…?' _

"No, you don't, Zina. There won't be any more pain." The shock on my face must've been pretty noticeable, for he added: "Yes, you said that out loud, Zina. I thought you knew you could tell me anything, Zina." He surged forward. I screamed as my body was pushed up higher on the bed from the force. _'Wait a sec…' _The pain was gone. And in its place was something so wonderful, so magnificent, that I knew I just had to have more.

I wasn't going to settle for only a taste.

Instinctively, I jerked my hips up, sealing our bodies together. Daddy yelled out a little, caught off guard. He fisted his left hand in the sheets next to my side, and gripped the headboard with his other hand so hard, it cracked. The sound ricocheted across the room. I looked into his icy blue eyes as they flared once again. He pushed up slowly, trying to give me time to adjust to his massive size. The tension in his body was so intense, I could feel the pain that was emitting from his large stature.

I didn't like it. It was a horrible feeling, knowing that I caused him pain, when I was supposed to make him feel the total opposite. _'Maybe I can never make Daddy truly happy...' _With my mind set, I began to slowly ease my body away from his... _'Holy SHIT!'_ The pleasure that jolted through my body made me bang my head on the headboard so bad, I think I got a concussion. The friction made my insides feel like they were on fire. I knew what I need him to do now...

I needed Daddy to douse the flames within me, the desire.


End file.
